problems with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome include loss of speech
A friend with severe Lyme Disease wrote about her physical communication
problems and asked me for advice.
She knows I used to live with very
severe Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. (My current doctor calls it Chronic Fatigue
When my friend talked of her frustration at not being able to communicate, my first response, to be honest, was to cry.
Not very helpful, I know, but I too feel frustrated for her. I know how tough it is being stuck inside a body which
I will write another article with tips for someone wanting
to help the person with severe CFS who has the communication problems.
In this article I give sympathy and tips for the person with
CFS or Lyme who experiences a loss of speech.
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On this website, I often provide alternative healing methods,
and aim to be uplifting.
This however is an article
about the tough reality of living with severe Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Chronic
Lack of understanding, disbelief, lack of sympathy
Despite your communication problems, the speech you do manage
to get out may sound normal and set up an expectation from the other
person that you can speak normally. This in turn may lead the person to criticise you for not trying hard enough.
It is maddening to make such an effort and then get
criticised for it!
When you have physical communication problems as part of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you also face the
possibility that people think you're mentally ill and are choosing not to talk.
This can be hurtful. It is also hugely frustrating given that you are so desperate to communicate. Instead of criticising you, the person who is delivering the criticism could choose to adapt their own behaviour to help you communicate!
When the person who misunderstands is someone with the job of assessing your needs, their
lack of understanding is also dangerous to your well-being.
Advice for communication problems with severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
- Get things set up as much as possible so that you don't
have to ask for help in order for your basic needs to be met
Due to muscle fatigue in the fingers, I had minimal ability
to write. Every time I could write something I did. After two years I had a
comprehensive care routine.
(If you are in a position to help someone with severe Myalgic
Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to write a care routine, please help them to do so. It
took me two years to do write a care routine which I could have done in an hour if I had been able to write freely.)
For over 10 years I had the same food menu.
Each day of the week was different, but to use care time most effectively, I
had the same meal three times a day. The menu repeated weekly. This also allowed the shopping list to stay almost the same each week, which again saved time and muscle use.
Eating the same meal 3 times a day isn't ideal for one's health or enjoyment, but it allowed food to be cooked in bulk
and it therefore saved time and minimised the need for speech.
I didn't ever have a week where I had only carers that I
knew, so I still had to communicate to a new person at times, either by
pointing at the care routine or managing to come out with some words. But with a menu for them to follow, I had an increased chance of getting enough to eat.
- Use a dictation device that types for you
In my case I could speak much better when I was on my own
and not having to deal with movement and speech from the other person. A carer gave
me a dictaphone. From then on, my life changed as I had a way to communicate - at least with myself!
I was able to talk and send it off to be typed up– I was
lucky to have the finances at the time to do this.
Later on I discovered a digital notetaker
with software which types up what you dictate. Fantastic! This again changed my life. It is
what I am using to write this article. (You still have to edit what you write
but what a difference it makes.)
If you don't have muscle fatigue in your fingers you can of course make up a little for losing your speech by simply typing up what you want to say!
I also used a dictaphone to make a note of requests for help. It would take me several hours to make a 7 minute tape.
- Spend time alone and in silence
If you have severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and have communication problems based on cognitive difficulties, and headaches, you may need to spend huge
amounts of time on your own and in silence.
Living with illness is
already likely to be a lonely experience. But unless you have someone profoundly
understanding and adaptable in your life, silence will probably be necessary to keep the symptoms as low as possible. (Click through for quotes about loneliness.)
In my case, the times of silence allowed my head to work better during the times when someone was there.
I needed as much speech as possible for survival. It also fed my emotional well being to have social interaction with the caregivers and with the occasional visitor.
- Listen to healing meditations
can actively calm your nervous system and cultivate a healing
environment for the body. Hopefully the physical communication problems will be reduced or at least not get worse.
- Cultivate positive self talk
Talk to yourself in a way which gives you some of the sympathy,
understanding and company you need.
Positive self talk can be
misunderstood to mean telling yourself to be happy all the time. If that helps, then do it. But there will be times when it is far more helpful to tell yourself that it is normal for you to feel upset by your physical communication problems. Be your own best friend - the one who allows you to have a moan and gives you sympathy and understanding.
I have put much of my effort
in the direction of cultivating positive self talk in order to change
my internal world. I hope to bring out books in the future.
I wish I could recommend a healing method to alleviate your communication
problems. Sadly, I don't have any magic advice for you.
I set my faith on the Lightning Process working for me. I had a massive
improvement and regained much of my speech. But I can't claim that it would
work for everyone.
I continue to manage the symptoms that lead to communication problems by leading a quiet life with lots of solitude and silence. I do healing meditations throughout the day to keep my nervous system calm and provide a healing environment for my body.
Please know that if you relate to this article on loss of speech and physical communication problems with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you are dealing with a lot.
I know you know that. I also know that you probably need someone else to acknowledge it.
I acknowledge that you are dealing with a lot.
You have my admiration.
Wishing you health both within and beyond illness,
Katherine T Owen
Katherine T Owen runs this website - www.HealingCFSME.com.
She is author of Be Loved, Beloved (Read it in paperback at lulu.com or on kindle)
Click for a second article on understanding loss of speech when living with CFS.
Move to read more about my own journey with severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
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